Mr. T Vs Mr. B!
by bitterlydivine
Summary: Muahhaha MADDNESS MADDNESS!! Heidegger included!


Rematch! Rocky vs Mr. Barret?  
  
( The view set in on Mr. T getting ready to fight Rocky *again* )  
  
Mr. T: "Tha'sucka is goin' down!"He cracked his knuckles looking around "Yo!  
where'd my boombox go?! how am I supposed to jam with out my Jay-Z?!" He  
looked to where his boombox was , a note laying down.  
  
Yo sucka!   
Go to the mens bathroom 1st stall if you eva' want to here yo' Jay Z and Ja Rule  
again!  
And bring some Palmall Golds too!   
  
From Mr. B and The C Man  
  
Mr. T: "Tha'sucka is gonna get a ass whoopin'! now I gots ta' go to da' 7-11 ta' get  
sum' cigarettes." He pointed off to a random direction "To the A-Van!" He ran out  
of the door running into a hall he saw...Superman?  
  
Superman: "I have come to steal your gold chains , Mr. Ghetto!"  
  
Mr. T: "Yo! what'd you call me?! Stupidman! I is not ghetto!" He jumped at him  
whackin him to the moon "No one mess wit' my goldchains! 'Specially not sum'  
greasy dude wit' a jerry curl!"  
  
( Meanwhile )  
  
Barret: "Yo once Mr. T comes we be knockin him out stealin the cigarettes and I  
will whoop Rockys ghetto ass!"  
  
Cid: "^&*@(%$%&%^#!!!" He said while coughing  
  
Barret: "Yo you need to be quitin dem' fags."  
  
Authors note: A fag is a british term for a cigarette , for all of those who don't  
know.  
  
Cid: He coughs again "Damnit!! look! Its Apollo!"  
  
Barret: He looked over to Apollo "Yo sucka! I'll make ya live up to ya name and  
kick yer arse so hard you'll kiss the moons!"  
  
Cid: "You been playing too much Chrono Cross man..." He nods his head with  
shame  
  
Apollo: "Where is Mr. T?! Rocky needs to fight him!"  
  
Barret: "Pocky? Isn't tha a japanese food o'sumthin?"  
  
Cid: "He said ROCKY." He once again nodded his head with shame.  
  
Barret: "Yo Cid! you wan' me to knock yo ass to the moon too?!"  
  
Cid: Backs up putting his hands up nodding no.  
  
Apollo: "Shut up! I'm gonna beaty you up for Rocky!" He went up to Barret  
knocking him in the face.  
  
Barret: "Yo! did he jus' hit me?!"  
  
Cid: "Yea! knock his ass out!"  
  
Barret: "Yea!" He whacked Apollo while wearing the Rocket Punch.  
  
Apollo: "Looks like Apollos blasting off again!"  
  
Barret: "Sucka!"  
  
( Back To Mr. T )  
  
Mr. T: "Yo' they bes not do nuttin to my Jay-Z!" He said with frustration , while  
searching for a cd to listen to only findin Eminem. "Damnit! Sumbody be messin'  
wit my jams! Oh well les' listen to this whiteboy!" He popped it in.  
  
Stereo: "You don't , wanna fuck with shady , cuz shady will fuckin kill you!"  
  
Mr. T: "What? Tha' lil white boy wants to mess wit da T?!"  
  
Stereo: Switches "My teas gone cold I wonder why.."  
  
Mr. T: "Wha? I ain't his damn T! His ass be gettin a whoopin!"  
  
Stereo: Glitched and somehow switches to the Barney theme "I love you , you love  
me , were a happy family with a kiss and a hug...."  
  
Mr. T: Pulls out a gun from somewhere pressing the eject button shooting the tape  
"Shut tha fuck up!"Arrives at 7-11 , he pulled into the parking lot parking his Van ,  
He got out going into the 7 - 11.   
  
Clerk: "Welcome to 7-11."  
  
Mr. T: "Yo! I be needin sum uhh." He gets a mindblank "Marbolo Lights?"  
  
Clerk: "Ok." Gets out the Cigarettes exchanging them for money.  
  
Mr. T: "Yo Thanks!" He ran out into the parking lot seeing somebody tagging his  
van. "Yo! you gonna die!" And who is it? Eminem!  
  
Eminem: In a squeeky voice "Yo momma!"  
  
Mr. T: "Yo! What you say bout' my momma?!"  
  
Eminem: "Yo momma!"  
  
Mr. T: "Least' My momma dun need any prep-h!"  
  
Eminem: "Yo! I don't get screwed up de bum! I be dominant...I mean I'm not gay!"  
He took out a gun aiming it at Mr. T shooting it , the snap back blew his small body  
to the moon , the bullet hitting Mr. T's chains.  
  
Mr. T: "Yo! you damaged my chains!" He kissed them hugging them tightly , he   
then ran to the A-Van hopping in. Starting it up leaving the parking lot "Yo its time  
for sum' real tunes!" He flipped through his wide selection , finding The Carpenters.  
"Yo dey be da shit!" Pops in the Cd.  
  
CDPlayer: Plays.  
  
Mr. T: "Yo loooong ago! and o' so far away! I fell in love wit' you , before da second  
show , yo guitar it sounds so sweet to hear but your not really here its just he radio!!  
don't you remember you told me you loved my babayyyyy!!!!!!! don't you  
remember you told me you'd be coming back this way babaay baby baby oh baby i  
love youuuuu i really do!"Rocks to the beat "Lonlyness is such a sad affair and i can  
hardly wait to be with you again. What to say , to make you come again , come back  
to me again , and play your sad guitar don't you remember you told me loved me  
baby you said you'd be coming back this way baby baby baby oh baby i love you i  
love you i really do.. don't you remember you told me loved me baby you said you'd  
be coming back this way baby baby baby oh baby i love you i love you i really do.."  
Wipes a tear from his cheek.  
  
CDPlayer: Stops.  
  
Mr. T: The A-Van suddenly stops , "Yo! wha's wrong?!" He hopped out to check  
the engine smoke steaming out of it. "Shit!"  
  
( Suddenly a fat man appears with a shopping cart. )  
  
Man: "Gyaa Haa! Sucks to be you!"  
  
Mr. T: "Heidegger?! Yo my bro! whussup nigga? how my g be in da hood?"  
  
Heidegger: "Gyaa , I got some cheesy poofs." His beard was stained orange , "Gyaa  
need a ride?"  
  
Mr. T: "Yo yea!" He hops in with an HUGE stereo in it.  
  
Heidegger: Starts pushing the cart , suprisingly fast.  
  
Mr. T: "Yo , you got any Jay-Z? DMX? Ja-Rule?"  
  
Heidegger: "Gyaa , only BackStreetBoys , lay some of those tunes on me!"  
  
Mr. T: Shudders and pushes play.  
  
Heidegger: "Gyaa , Nick is so dreamy...." Gets all star eyed "Gyaa , You are my  
fire! the one , desire , you are , GYAA!! NICK!!"*Screams like a little girl*  
  
Mr. T: "Yo , Thas sick! you like 40 sumthin' years old and yo' have a crush on a 18  
year old?"  
  
Heidegger: "Gyaa!! I am 23!" And he says it truthfully...  
  
Mr. T: He shuddered looking at Heidegger , He put his hand in his hand finding a  
CD , "Yo! I found the single Baby got back!" He popped it in.  
  
Heidegger: "I like big butts and I can not lie , you other brothers can't deny! Gyaa ,  
I have a big butt! Darn my Bodacious hips!"  
  
Mr. T: "Yo! You jus' ruined mah perfect mental image!"  
  
Heidegger: Points to the Arena "Gyaa land hooo!"  
  
Mr. T: "Yo park here!"  
  
Heidegger: Parks in the parking lot "Gyaa , Try to get me a part in a  
1-800-COLLECT commercial! Gyaa See ya T!"  
  
Mr. T: "Yo! See ya Heidegger!"  
  
( Back To Barret and Cid )  
  
Cid: "Where the hell is he?! I need ta get muh smoke on!"  
  
Barret: "I don't know! but les make prank phone calls!"  
  
Cid: "Lets call em! Collect!"  
  
( Carrot top comes in. )  
  
Carrot Top: "Guys! Don't Call Collect! Call 1-800-CALLATT! Right down the  
middle!"  
  
Barret: "Yo wtf?! Carrot Sticks?!"  
  
Carrot Top: "No! Carrot Top! Wait! You are the 1,000,000th retard to call collect!!  
you win a trip to Hawaii!"  
  
Cid: "^#&*(@^&&*^*(^@&#$*()&$*(7@_&*^&*%&^$#@^*(#(@&#*(@(#!!!"  
  
Barret: "What'd you call us Carrot Sticks?!"  
  
Carrot Top: "Nothing!"  
  
Barret: "You be callin us retards!"  
  
Carrot Top: "No I didn't!"  
  
Barret: "Yea you did! NOW I'M PISSED!" He turned red doing his 5TH! limit  
break! "SUPA SUCKA KILLA!" He knocked his ass to the moon too.  
  
Carrot Top: "Nooooo!! I'll get you! you and your foul mouthed friend too!!!"  
  
( Meanwhile on the moon )  
  
Eminem: "YO MOMMA APOLLO OH YES!!"  
  
( Erhm back to Barret and Cid )  
  
Cid: "You dumbass! We coulda gone to Hawaii but you killed Carrot top!"  
  
Barret: "Yo! He called us retards!"  
  
Cid: "First get the tickets then knock his ass to the moon! Its times like this you  
wish Michael Jackson was here."  
  
Michael Jackson: As if on cue comes moon walking in , he "Whoo's!" and grabs his  
crotch. "Thats all you have to do Cid! Just believe!" He said in a weak frail girlish  
voice.  
  
Cid: "Hey Barret , Michael! Lets sing my favorite song!"  
  
Barret: "Ok! Another day has gone , i'm still all alone! how could this be! your not  
here with me , you never said goodbye someone tell me why did you have to go and  
leave my world so cold.  
  
Cid: "Everyday i sit and ask my self something wispers in my ear and says that you  
are not alone i am here with you though your far away i am here to stay! you are  
not alone! i am here with you though were far apart your always in my heart you  
are not alone. "  
  
Michael: "Loooone lone why , loooooone just the other night i thought i heard you  
cry asking me to go i hold you in my arms i can hear your prayers your burdens i  
will care but first i need your hand and for ever can begin."  
  
Tito: Runs in "I'LL BE THERE!"  
  
Michael: "Tito! you ruined the song! and thats the wrong song!"  
  
Barret: "Yo! You be messin wit Michaels tunes! I'ma bust yo ass up!" And again he  
knocks his arse to the moon.  
  
( Back to Mr. T )  
  
Mr. T: "Yo that sucka better be there!" He goes into the bathroom walking into the  
stall too , seeing Michael Jackson , Barret , and Cid in there. Also seeing the boom  
box. "Yo! My tunes!!"  
  
Barret: "Yo! not till we get a match! I'ma bust yo ass up!"   
  
Mr. T: "Yo! No i'd bust yo ass up!"  
  
Michael: "Guys! don't fight! lets take this to the ring!"  
  
Mr. T: "Yo! Shut up ms. prissy pants!"He also knocks Michaels arse to the moon.  
  
Cid: "NOOOO MICHAEL!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!" He falls on his knees crying as  
his Idol Michael Jackson flies away...The Aeris Death Theme plays.  
  
Mr. T: "'Nougha dat shit! les go!" They all walk to the ring all tense and stuff.  
  
( Uhh in the ring where Cid stands in Barrets corner and Mr. T is taking off his  
chains. )  
  
Mr. T: "POKEBALL GO!!" And out of the pokeball comes a Pikachu.  
  
Barret: "Woh! hes got a Pimpachu! I bes be careful! Pokeball go!" And a Tauros  
comes out.  
  
Mr. T: "Whoreos? OH SHIT!"  
  
Tauros: Eats the Pikachu "Whore."  
  
Mr. T: "FUCK! I'M OUT OF POKEMON!"  
  
Barret: "YAAA!!!"  
  
( Suddenly Heidegger falls into the ring )  
  
Heidegger: "T! I am here!"  
  
Mr. T: "YEA!!! GO HEIDEGGER!!!"   
  
Barret: "HEIDEGGER?! THE ULTIMATE POKEMON?!"  
  
Heidegger: "Gyaa!!" He Jumps on the Tauros crushing it.  
  
Barret: "Gaah! Yo Return Flat thing! , Who should I send out now! OH YEA!! GO  
CARTMAN!"Throws a pokeball  
  
Cartman: "What the?! God damnit! I ain't supposed to fight!"  
  
( Then suddenly Team Rocket comes )  
  
Heidegger: "Gyaa Its up to us Cartman!"  
  
Cartman: "YAAA LETS GO NOW!!!"   
  
Heidegger and Cartman: They bend over , and in unison the scream "SUPER  
FART SMASHER!!"  
  
Barret: "NOOO NOW I'LL NEVER BECOME A POKEMON MASTER!!!"  
  
( Everything is black , the credits roll as big pimpin plays )  
  
Mr. T From the A-Team  
  
Cid Highwind , Barret Wallace , and Heidegger from Final Fantasy 7  
  
Eminem from uhh no where  
  
Michael Jackson also from no where  
  
Music By-  
  
Eminem - Stan  
  
The Carpenters - Superstar  
  
BSB - I want it that way  
  
Written and Copyrighted by - The Chad  
  
And who cares about the others  
  
Cid: "Hey! I never got my Cigarettes!"  
  
Don't smoke kids , Cid is not cool don't copy him.  
  
Cid: "Hey!" 


End file.
